You find one or two in every family. That distant relative that no one ever talks to anymore because of something he or she did that was totally unacceptable. No one remembers the real story anymore, but the smell of disgust is still fresh, like the taste of raw carrion after a kill. They don’t attend family functions, and aren’t invited to weddings. Or maybe your family has a grey sheep or two. Those whom everyone speaks of in a negative light. They are described by the more vocal family members as obnoxious, vain, troublesome, heartless and such. If you have neither black nor grey sheep in your family, look carefully in the mirror - you may be it.
As a child I never could understand how family relations could degrade to the extent of lifelong begrudging. How can people who used to share family life hate each other to the point of wanting absolutely nothing to do with each other for the rest of their lives? Some of these grudges even carry on through multiple generations.
Now, years later and arguably none the wiser, I see that it is not hard to change the colour of one’s fleece. As one grows older, familial obligations and responsibilities get heavier. This is especially true in an Asian household, where children are expected to care for their parents upon coming of age. One wrong judgement call…one exchange of bitter words…one bad case of pre/post/perpetual menstrual stress and you find yourself on the wrong end of the popularity polls.
A crude mathematical formula is as follows:
where P(black) is the probability of you becoming a black sheep forever.
Forgiveness people. We need forgiveness. I can’t even begin to fathom how many families would be healed, and how many lives would be enriched if we were able to give each other the benefit of the doubt, or believe in the almost almighty power of perpetual menstrual stress.
I guess it is extremely difficult to deal with decades-old issues especially when it involves family members. We need His Grace and Strength to deal with them, but to expect them to vanish overnight is almost impossible.
After all, I think, we're dealing mortals here.
Having said this, it is not altogether impossible if people are willing to work towards having things resolved.
Just my two cents worth, having experienced the good and the bad throughout the years at family reunions.
When you have an Older brother 10 years Older than you and ypu see how he uses concepts ,found in the book "The Prince". It easy to understand how Black sheeps are created; they are create for personal gain. I can image an older family member or a more educated Family member keeping a younger or less educated family member in darkness and even using Prince concepts to make them Black sheep when they attempt to put there Best interest first.