Growing Pains
I read David’s entry on crying, or rather the male’s lack of it.
I have to confess that I cry naturally. When a movie or story touches me, I allow myself to be swept up in it. The feeling of reckless emotional abandon leaves me breathless and I cling on to every moment within the moment, allowing my parched soul the pleasure of feeling alive again.
In recent years it has become harder to cry. I’ve grown more “objective” and less emotional, or so the grown-ups would have me believe. The truth isn’t half as pleasant: Like them, I’ve stopped growing and started dying.
I’ve learnt that trust can be given, but never in entirety. The people we vote into power lie to us constantly. The integrity of journalism is non-existent. I’m no longer affected by sob-stories drummed up by the media. These days I just walk away shaking my head at the exploitation that takes place whenever one of these sensationalised stories are brought to us.
Yet I pen my thoughts daily in the hope that some of you out there will weep with me every now and then. I only pray that I hold true to you, and to myself.
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As an old friend, I do find that you have changed somewhat since you left for Tucson... there were times that I would have thought you'd never react in a certain manner, but you did... I brushed it off most times, wondering if it was just I who have changed. I don't know, maybe I'm wrong.
But it's true, as we grow older, we become de-sensitised to a degree.
If Lucient did change while he was here in Tucson I would like to think or believe it was for the better as he always changed the people around him or at least tried, we valued his presence here as much as you do in Singapore and we miss him and his insights, maybe there are a few slip up's but alas we are only to human and like you said I think it comes more from going older but maybe that process is at least slowed if not completely stopped by good friends and company ;!...
Stormie, I'm sure I have changed, as you have said. There are times my own insensitivity surprises myself. I only hope I haven't hurt or upset you in any way. Though hardly an excuse, all I can say is that it comes with having too much on my mind.
Nevertheless, do keep me updated on my own change. It is usually the outside observer who sees the more accurate picture.
Hunter: Sorry if I seem to have put it negatively. I cherish Lucian's thoughts and insights too and he continues to change people's lives, as he has always done. It was an observation of mine of how things have changed over the years.
Lucian: Sorry. I'm not upset or hurt at all. No worries. I admit that it has been on my mind and I felt intrigued by it. Just thought you might want to know. ;) You know, like a sounding board, as friends tend to be, invited or otherwise. ;P
another quality blog! excellent.
what camera do you use?
I'm thinking if it would ever be possible to achieve the kind of results with my digital camera. a canon s45
hmm... you cry too? I like crying, the only problem is that I as a guy I'm not suppose to, so generally I have to run away somewhere to cry.
Really... what is the purpose of holding it in anyway, it's so much easier to just let it out. It doesn't mean I am a slave to my emotions, I just think that it's easier to let it out and then comtemplate what is really going on inside of me...
It's cool I tihnk I understand what you were trying to say ;!