Middle Age Prelude
I haven’t been blogging, partly because there are some things I am afraid to pen down. It’s not the “oh, I’m scared I’ll hurt my best friend’s feelings when I blog about her body odour” type of fear. You see, when you actually take time to write stuff down, sometimes you have to visit fears you may not want to face. But here goes.
I’ve been falling sick quite a bit over the past half a year. Nothing serious really, just the flu bug in its many variants. And then there are the other things. I occasionally get dizzy when I hit the basketball courts. I am hungry a lot of the time, despite eating my proper meals. Faith says that I used to snack on huge loads of cornflakes in the past, so that’s probably a moot point. When I weighed myself two weeks ago, I found out that I lost 5 to 7kg.
It is probably a “man thing”, but I want things to be the way they were. I want to be able to run forever and not get tired. I don’t want to look in the mirror and see that I am now like the millions of skinny Singaporean boys who play basketball. Maybe I didn’t realise it before, but I took some pride in my fitness. It’s gone.
I’ve had the intention to visit a doctor and find out what exactly is the problem, but like the male that I am, I prefer to live in denial. That’s also the reason why I didn’t want to blog about this initially. Penning it down gives it a permanance that I simply have to face.
I’ll probably visit the doctor’s on Monday. I don’t know what I’ll be told, but I pray I have the faith to listen.