My Country, My Home
Sitting alone in the study finishing up work that needs to be done, listening to Garth Brooks is an oddly cathartic activity. Country music has been the soundtrack for parts of my life; usually the parts where I find myself sitting in the dark.
Stumbling upon the channel #gbfan when I panicked at seeing so many porn channels on IRC and simply clicked, it was a number of months before I found out I made friends in a channel devoted to Garth Brooks. The friendships made there brought me to Milwaukee on an Amtrak train so many years ago. I don’t know where they all are now, with my having left the IRC network Dalnet.
Country music accompanied me when I worked 16 hour days in Chicago. The drive home at 1 in the morning, we’d have country radio on. Passing by empty streets illuminated by store signs and Garth Brooks singing “what’s she doing now?” made my heart yearn for Faith, yet I wanted to stay where I was.
That’s the deal with misery and country music isn’t it? There’s a sick sweetness with pining for someone. Dark and dank evenings have a lonely companionship to them. We’re all alone. There’s some unity in that.
I’m alone now. Missing you, even though you’re in the other room. It hurts so beautifully.