It’s 5 in the morning. I’ve had Anne asleep on my stomach (like here) for more than an hour to kinda settle her in. About fifteen minutes after I put her down, she start rubbing her face vigorously again.
At some point we thought we had it down pat. Anne was sleeping almost through the night and we were feeling really blessed and all. The glimpse of parenting heaven lasted only a week and a half. Anne would rub her face with her mitten-covered hands, kick her way out of any ingenious swaddling restraints and eventually wake herself up in the process. By the morning her face would look like it got hit by a truck.
So for the past number of nights (I say number because I can’t remember how many due to prolonged sleep deprivation, and blogging about sleep deprivation) I’ve been carrying her, walking her back and forth in the hopes of settling her down enough to get her some shuteye. It was like Day Three again.
A few moments ago I decided to try putting Anne to sleep on her tummy. Now before any of you goes postal on me: yes, I know about SIDS. Yes, I know I’ll absolutely hate myself if anything bad happens to Anne. But I also know that she doesn’t get the rest she needs because of her flailing arms and legs when she lies on her back.
Faith said that putting her on her tummy probably doesn’t mean we get more sleep. We’ll just wake up more often to check on her. But it isn’t the issue of getting more sleep; I just don’t want her to wake herself up every half an hour, suffer from a tomato-y red and raw face in the morning or become extremely dependent on having to lie on us in order to get her sleep.
So should my baby sleep on her back or her stomach? All the baby books unequivocally state that I should be putting her on her back. This report in particularly has me all freaked out. But my grandma, who has been a midwife for more than half a century tells us to put her on her tummy. We’ve refrained and “listened to the experts” till now. It is comforting to know other parents face the same problem, and many did the same as we’ve done tonight.
It’s a really hard decision, fraught with a lot of self-doubt and confusing expert advice. I hope I’m doing the right thing. I really, really do.
Lucian, at the hospital I work at here in Sydney, a three month old baby came in pale/blue after his mother put him on his stomach to sleep after a breastfeed. He died the next day after our department revived and intubated him that day. He was born at our hospital too, and I remember seeing his dad around. Don’t do it!
Have you tried using a big wrap (a light one for Singapore weather) to wrap her hands in as well? so that she’s snuggled and won’t wake herself up?
Hi cc,
Anne hates her hands bound. She’ll struggle and cry all the way till she breaks free.
Bummer. That’s a shame. I think you’ve just got to bite the bullet and let her cry for a while without her hands being wrapped in, otherwise you guys will never break free from the sleep deprivation!
Poor Anne. Hang in there, bro. You know, I’ve always slept on my tummy when I was a baby. I guess I must thank God I’m still alive. ;)
Hi, been reading your blog for some time now. Love your entries about Anne and Faith esp.
How old is Anne again? If she’s able to lift her head and turn it while lying on tummy, it should be safe to let her sleep that way. Did that for both my girls (31mths and 5mths) and they slept so much better that way. You will need to constantly check on her though. Maybe try it out for daytime naps first. This was on the recommendation of the paed.
CC, I know what you mean. Faith and I don’t mind the inconvenience to ourselves. For the past few nights we have been sitting next to her cot, holding her hands and feet down so she doesn’t jerk or punch herself awake. It works for 20 minutes tops each time, which basically means we need to sit there the entire night. If we leave her alone, the constant rubbing makes her face break out in a bad rash. We haven’t decided if we’re going to continue the sleeping on the tummy. What you experienced in the hospital really brings our worst fears to reality.
Joanne, Anne can lift her head sufficiently well to turn and look around. This morning when she woke up she looked about a bit before calling for her food. The first words that came out of my mouth were “she’s alive!” ala Frankenstein the movie.
We are so thankful that she got a good night’s sleep. We barely slept worrying, but we would have not been sleeping much having to hold her down either.
Our baby startled herself awake very frequently despite swaddling tightly… you could try tummydown for daytime naps. :) Mine went through phases- unable to soothe herself, startling herself awake (just her arms falling back on mattress, startles her) etc. I just tried out all the different poses and see which suits her. Another way is sideways- with bolster, have to position for her such that she doesn’t fall back onto her back. Anyway gd luck! :)
Oh, a friend’s hubby often walks from home to Haw Par Villa at 3am in the morning, to lull baby back to sleep in a sarong sling… :P
M, your friend’s hubby is my hero.
It would help if Anne liked being in a sarong sling, but as it is, she doesn’t like her movement being restricted, by sarong or swaddling cloth.
We’re still experimenting. Sleeping on her tummy doesn’t work all the time.
i let my kids sleep on their tummies- they definitely slept better that way. If u can , try n find little pillows filled with beans - they rest well on the baby’s tummies - makes babies more secure / snug. Anyway , good luck with baby !
What about if you don’t put her hands in mittens? Does she then scratch herself? The mittens are probably rubbing her poor little cheeks raw, which would irritate her even more.
She’ll scratch her eyeballs out. :( On a good day, she looks like Arwen in Lord of the Rings (one small scratch on the cheekbone). On a bad day, she looks like Freddy Kruger in Nightmare on Elm Street.