Whenever people ask me why it is that I don’t hire a maid, my answer is “because I don’t think I’m mature enough”.
Maids (the local word for live-in domestic help, usually from another country) are commonplace in Singapore. Every other family has a maid. I am constantly appalled at how generally ok people fail to see how close to slavery this is. Yes, we pay them. And yes, the pay they receive here is probably better than what they could have earned back home. Does this excuse how we treat them though?
A law was passed recently forcing employers to grant their maids the minimum of one day off a month. I’ve heard Singaporeans extolling their own virtues.
“My maid should be thankful. I give her two days off every month!”
Faith and I have decided not to hire a maid due to a few reasons. The main reason, according to Faith, is the universal law dictating that “we clean our own shit up”. It’s a perfectly legit reason. We made the mess, we clean it up. If we don’t have time to clean it up, we live in it. I’m pretty sure someday down the road I’ll be made to eat these words. When work requires 16 hours a day and I have potato chips all over my couch, it is likely I am tempted to break this self-imposed law.
My own reason for not hiring a maid is slightly different. So called “better pay” aside, we treat them like dirt. It is a common sight to see the mother of the family buying groceries from the market, the father walking a couple of meters behind prodding a stylus on some new-fangled gadget he just bought, and the maid, much futher behind struggling under numerous plastic bags of vegetables, raw meat and canned food. She’s barely able to lift the bags. Her employers shout for her to hurry up. The mother sighs and exclaims loudly that her maid is lazy and inefficient.
I don’t want to be like that. But right now I’m not sure if I have the maturity to treat a live-in domestic help with dignity. Essentially, when you hire a maid you become an employer - a manager. Not everyone has the smarts to be one, especially being one 24/7. I’m just not sure if I do.
I think it’s more being an employer 24/7 and having your employee live with you, that I find unsettling. Whether the person be a maid, governess or whatever, it’s just too jarring to the family’s privacy, IMO. I’d rather pay someone to come in and help with the chores or something.
But yes, Singaporean families who employ maids are very good at being colonial about it. Pah!
My maid’s area of operation covers only the cleaning up of the house and my two Jack Russell (their poo-poo especially). Ever since my 3rd kid came to this world, I can only enjoy so much time with them. House cleaning and other doggies’ misdemeanour taken out of the equation gives me much more time with the kids. OK, you gonna say, “its all in the time management, Bob”. And most probably you are right. But believes me, with your kids around and you wanting to set a good example, you will somehow “govern” your maid with respect and dignity. That is, if you WANT to set a good example. lah.
Hear, hear, I totally understand what you mean. And like Tym, I much prefer to get someone in to come occasionally when the workload gets too much. That way, the person is truly and indeed paid for the cleaning services and I don’t have to manage her 24/7.
But wow, how are you guys coping especially with a baby?
We cope the best we can, I guess. The house does look somewhat hurricane-torn from time to time, and we haven’t slept since sometime in April. Maybe it’s a good idea to get temp help when required.
Lucian,
I think you guys should consider at least a part time maid. It helps to improve your quality of life and at least lets you put more time into the things which matter, like spending time teaching, playing, cuddling and bringing your kid out.
I have the contact of a very good part time maid which I can pass to you if you are keen. About $40 to $50 for a 4 hour period. In the past (before we switched to a full-time maid, which is another story altogether), she will assist with ironing (the worst household chore), vaccuuming and sweeping, mopping the floor, wiping windows, cleaning toilets etc.