Baby: April 2006 Archives

Anne dancing, now with new moves!

I didn’t mean to scare anyone away from parenting, least of all Joan, whom I’m sure will make an excellent mother. But any parent who gets him or herself involved in bringing up a child will attest to the fact that child-rearing is the hardest thing in the world.

It is also the easiest.

You see, parenting is an incomprehensible paradox. In the last twelve months, Faith and I have found ourselves experiencing new degrees of anger, exploring unchartered waters of tiredness and bearing a burden that seemed more overwhelming than the weight of the world. In this time we have also been so utterly blessed by Anne’s laughter and our days miraculously transformed by her smile.

Just the thought of her bare bottom scooting away to the far side of the bed while we scamper around trying to change her diaper brings out both frustrated furrowed brow and an odd fatherly smile on my face. Even my facial muscles are muddled.

Parenting is living life to the extreme. It widens the emotional gamut. It is no wonder many fathers choose to take a passive role - the constant energy you have to apply to a million different things (all the time changing) seems to be something women are better at. You don’t solve a child. She is not something you fix. The solution you came up with to get her to sleep last week may not work this week. He may like pumpkin today but not tomorrow. You can’t pass him on to the other project manager, or blame the vendor for shoddy work.

Despite the uncertainties, you will find some things certain when it comes to parenting.

“Here comes the harder part of parenting,” Faith said. “We can’t just love her unconditionally anymore.”

Anne’s birthday went by with me being in a semi-comatose state most of the day. She didn’t sleep very well the night before, which equated to me pretty much not getting any sleep at all. Throw in the side-effects of my thyroid medication, some balloons, tinsel, a house full of people and some cake, you can only imagine the kind of reality-bending nausea I carried around.

Remember the trailer of the movie X-Men? Where Patrick Stewart talks about how evolution occurs slowly, but every million or so years takes a giant leap forward? He was probably talking about Anne on her birthday.

Somehow this young girl, who’d already been learning things at breakneck speed, transformed from relatively good-natured baby to spoilt brat in a single day. She screams for what she wants, complete with tears, ear piercing shrieks that threaten to tear her vocal chords. She contorts her body into impossibly uncarriable positions, slipping out of your grasp so she can scoot to wherever she wants to go.

It’s like Day Three again, only this time it’s intentional.

I think Anne wants you to smile - and remember her 1st birthday this Saturday.