Recently in Funnies Category

Practically everyone is predicting the coming baby to be a boy, simply because Faith’s pregnancy this time round brings about very different “symptoms”. “Oh it must be a boy…” goes the chime. Just because I’ve the rebellious streak in me, I’m going to say the baby’s a girl.

The scan isn’t until December, but I read somewhere that the father decides the gender of the baby. So here I am, deciding. Girl.

Faith and I were sitting around the other day thinking of baby names, as most expecting parents are wont to do. If you haven’t already guessed, we like short names, simple ones. Where many kids now sport frankensteined names like Shauntinice, we’d like to give our kids a head-start by having them be the first in class to know how to spell their name.

For almost all of Faith’s childhood, I remember adults coming up to her and asking “so where’s hope?”, an overused har-har on the clichéd Christian phrase “Faith, Hope and Love”. Faith’s sister happens to have the word “love” in her Chinese name, so all hope is lost.

If we named the next kiddo Hope, what of Anne?

“Faith Anne Hope”. Heh.

When you’re scrubbing somebody elses’ underpants while humming a Barney song that has enslaved your mind the entire afternoon.

Saw this t-shirt while coming to work the other day. I’m not usually a stickler for great English; I read, laugh and move on. But this shirt from Seagate which says “We turn on ideas” goes from “innovative company” to “corporate deadbeat” with a switch to preposition and a change in intonation.

If you haven’t already seen this, you’re really missing out.

Received an email:

This is NOT SPAM — this is a one-time reciprocal link request. I have NO INTENTION to email you again. You can also reply to this email with REMOVE in the subject line to make sure I’ll NEVER send you any more e-mails in the future.

Maybe some people just want to be doubly sure.

Extra-terrestrial activity found on moon, but the search for intelligent life continues.

One of the more awkward tasks at work is having to choose photos for web content because the default CMS template demands one. It is not always easy to depict information pictorially, especially when the visuals are confined to photography available in your media bank.

It’s nice to know the media heavyweights face the same problem.

BBC’s article on “US Iran report branded dishonest” was about how the International Atomic Agency found the US’ report on Iran’s nuclear programme inaccurate. The photo shows a bunch of middle-eastern men dressed in scrubs looking over a silver platter, with the caption “Iran insists its nuclear programme is for peaceful purposes”.

Looks more like glue sniffing to me, but who am I to say anything. There’ve been equally irrelevant photos put up on sites I’ve managed simply because a photo had to be there.

Ok, I know she’s German, but don’t they have more qualified football experts?

Nothing like hot wax on your nether regions to bring out your multiple personalities.

HOLY FREAKAZOIDS!!!! The 3 Singaporeans who went in search of the “Karate Master” in rural Japan and subsequently got lost on a mountainside found the bugger!!!

Someone get Jerry Bruckheimer’s number!

Just when I thought the April Fool’s Day was over, today’s headlines made me check my calendar twice.

• Monster rabbit targets vegetable patch
• ‘Karate Kids’ rescued after Japan mountain quest

I’m ashamed to come from the same country as the karate kids. Just like the clichéd kungfu novels, these 3 guys aged between 25 - 50 (not exactly kids) head off to Japan to look for a legendary karate master. Then in typical Singaporean fashion they get lost on a snowy mountainside and call for help on their mobile phones. It’s so stupid I only hope it isn’t true.

Weeks after “Tammy NYP” became the most searched item in the web universe, the Singapore government decides to raise public awareness of what could be should you lose your phone.

So by now you’ve probably heard about how Hip-Hop superstar Kayne West went off the script and said “George Bush doesn’t care about black people” on national television, with regards to the slow action taken to help the mostly African-American victims of Hurricane Katrina.

The contestants for The Amazing Race 8 are out, and there’s one black family among the ten families competing. They are also aptly named “The Black Family”, just in case you’re using one of those CGA screens that don’t display brown.

So here’s the less cerebral post I promised.

It’s a neat party trick I’ve been using to keep children occupied ever since Singapore decided to have our first President Yusof bin Ishak grace our dollar bills. I’ll use the $2 bill, as it’s the largest I currently own.

Here’s the $2 with the vacant expression.

Prep Your President

Fold the bill vertically down the President’s eyes, like here.

Put the two folds together and fold down the middle.

Yes, we know it looks like cyclops, and it’s funny. But quit being childish.

Open up the bill slightly, with the crease from the folds still visible. Tilt the bill up and down, and our President comes to life!

Here he is, smiling…

and here he is, rather upset.

So even if we can’t choose who our next President will be, we can always carry the joy they bring to our lives in our wallets.