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A Reawakening of a Love Affair

There are some things I know I should do. This is one of them. For those of you
who have already read my update, you'd already know that I'm having one of the worst fevers of my life. It's not so hot as it would seem, but rather I shivered so badly I thought I tore a muscle in my back. I was unable to get up from my bed for a few hours.
It was really depressing. I'm not usually one to get depressed. I've always thought of myself as strong, as someone who could take whatever life and God gave me. I was wrong. I prayed like a little child, not knowing what was ahead. There is no description too great for what I felt at that point in time. I felt like going back to Singapore, back to where people would care for me, and make me feel better. There were points in time when I even thought there was a possibility of my being bed-ridden, for the pain was excruciating and near the middle of my shoulder blades. It was that bad.
Something drew me to read my bible. Not that I don't read my bible, but this time something drew me. I turned to Matthew chapter 8. It spoke so much about
healing of lepers, the healing of Peter's mom (who was also having a fever), the
healing of the Centurion's servant. Funny thing is, it wasn't all these that spoke to me. It was the end of the chapter, where Jesus cured a man of possession and set the demons into a drove of many hogs. The hogs, being now possessed, went right into the sea and drowned. The people of that town then beseeched Jesus to leave that place.
I am like the people of that town. So many times I've been happy with what I have, forgetting the Giver who provided all these. I chose the hogs over Christ Himself. I thought little of being cleansed, and more of the "wealth" that I've come to know in my life. Now, not being sure if I could even walk without hunching badly, I wanted Christ so much. Like the Centurion I knew that He had the power, with just one spoken word to save me.
I slept early (again, something drew me), at 10pm. It's now midnight. I opened my eyes and stared at the ceiling. I had left my door slightly ajar, so if things got really bad, I could just shout for help, and not have to open the door. My neighbour knocked at that very moment, and asked me if I knew that my door was open. I don't know why, but that little concern overwhelmed me. I now knew that indeed, He is watching over me. I sat up. (Did you read that??? I sat up!) Walked straight down to the toilet and filled a bottle of water and walked back. I had slept for two hours. Don't think that was enough to do anything…been sleeping the whole weekend and only felt worse. And in that instant I knew that Jesus had spoken the word. And that He was by my side. And I thanked Him, not for the gift, but for the presence.
Coming to type this email, I had received another email from Huiling who said that she'd be praying for me tonight, in Michigan where she's at. And my IRC beeped, and another friend asked me how I was feeling, because I had set my screen-name to Elec_Sick. I KNOW that He cares.

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