An Imperfect Reflection

Today was a rather eventful day. Kieron came home last night and told me about a preacher he saw at the Mall. For those of you not from the U of A, the mall is a large grass patch in the middle of the University. I saw that preacher today, and stood there a while to listen to what he had to say. He had a large video camera on him, and a microphone and speakers. He had quite a large audience seated before him. What he said wasn't wrong, it was logical, and in tune to what the bible says. He offered an intellectual argument that Christianity was right, that there was a God. He got his share of opposition from members of the audience, but he did manage to logically pull it off, rebutting them point for point.
The truth of God will stand the test of time, I have no doubt about that. Jesus did say that not a single dot will be erased from the bible. I agreed with what the preacher said, and in many ways my intellect was stimulated. I can't say I felt totally comfortable with the way and means he did what he did though. I found him a little blunt and insensitive, sometimes asking a particularly participative member of the audience to stop being rude and let others speak. I'm not sure if there's anything wrong with that, it could be that I come from a culture where courtesy comes in the form of 'giving face'. We try not to embarrass another. Another thing I felt, was that though some welcome intellectual argument, the belief in Jesus Christ that we have is not solely intellectual. When I say all this, do bear in mind I'm no expert at any of these. The preacher on the mall was well-read, thoroughly versed, and handled every argument with such conciseness and logic it almost seemed blunt.
I know that we are, like Jesus said, to preach to the world, but I feel that our lives speak a lot louder than our words. I may, through hard work and study, win an intellectual argument over an atheist, but have I brought him or her any closer to God? Or have I been caught up with winning the argument that I have forsaken the fact I have to love the person? Love conquers all. We who are Christians are called to love. In Jesus' day, it was to heal the sick, lame and blind. We still need to do that today. Healing broken hearts and dreams, loving our fellow because love is of God. Not placing the importance of debunking intellectual theories. Arguments may bring one to question the theories of man, and embrace the truth of God. That is a possibility. But if I have not love, I am merely a clanging cymbal.
I judge the preacher not. I think he has devoted his time to a noble cause. He is willing to be the object of hate to some people, and I respect that sacrifice and commitment. Maybe God has His uses for him. For myself, I want so much to love with the love Jesus Christ showed. To love those outcast by society, to want so much to heal them, to touch them. I feel my burden there.
I know that many of you who read this know me very well, even from a young age. I'm sure my parents read this, and they've known me from infancy. I've not been a stellar example of a Christian, but I hope and pray that if I come to you in all honesty, and tell you of my struggles in my Christian life, that you will not ridicule or judge me, but have a clearer picture of what being a follower of Christ is.

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