Today's basketball game was a killer. Literally. There's this guy who plays occasionally whom I seem to have made enemies of. I'm often assigned the task of guarding him because I find that it is something I do effectively. Maybe too effectively. Today he began to play very rough, pushing and shoving under the basket. I understand that basketball is a contact sport, and I do not shun from it. I work hard at defense (because I'm lousy at offense anyway). He really got me riled this afternoon. Attitudes are contagious, and it soon became a team thing. Their whole team was fired up, and my team was fired up. We seemed to get the better of them on defense. Then there was this moment : I had the ball and some other guy was guarding me, making a jeering sound. I feinted left, then jammed on my brakes hard. He fell down. I was inclined to dribble in his face and laugh at him. It was not out of amusement, but out of dominance. I thank God I fumbled the ball right into the opponents hands. They took it that I was being sportsmanly, allowing their team member to get up before continuing the game. I'm glad it happened that way.
I had a long time of thinking about it. It was definitely one of my finer moments in basketball. Unlike the other moments, where I felt ecstatic because we all had a good time, this moment was "special" because I triumphed over another. I wanted to tell Ryan the moment I saw him, and we would both have a good laugh at the other guy's vain attempts to guard me. But no. For that split second of thought I had become what I hated and despised. I was ashamed I even found joy in another's embarrassment. It is just a game and should remain so. Power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely, so the saying goes. I am thankful that I was reminded in time. Indeed, what would profit a man if he gains the world but loses his soul? I have told no one, and have decided to tell no one. We shall not laugh at another's expense. I share with you this no longer in triumph, but in thankfulness that there was enough grace to save me before I fell totally.
Dearest Geisthund, you are right. I should look up and be happy, rather than mope with a saddened countenance all the while. I remember the poem I stuck on my door during the first semester. It was "Life" by Charlotte Bronte.
<blockquote>Life, believe, is not a dream
so dark as sages say.
Oft a little morning rain
Foretells a pleasant day.
Sometimes there are clouds of gloom,
But these are transient all;
If the shower will make the roses bloom,
Oh why lament its fall?</blockquote>
I'm glad you've reminded me such. There are many things to be thankful for. Far too often we live lives of discontent. Thank you dear friend.
To Elaine, while studying is a main priority, find the "joie de vive". For what life is life, if there is no life indeed? Smile and know this : you have a friend right here. And we could hang out, right here.

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