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Feet And Other Appendages

It's been a recent struggle of mine. It seems so trivial, yet so strong. The last time round I blogged about my wanted to get a Palm. It seemed a cool gadget to have, and I certainly saw its potential in many facets of my life. It would be nice to have a dictionary whenever I wanted one around, or a Bible, or Tetris. It would be great to be able to write down my thoughts the moment they pass transiently through my brain, and then simply upload them to my computer and paste them on <a href="http://www.blogger.com">Blogger</a>. Having done all my research, I narrowed it down to the Handspring Visor Platinum. While most people had a Palm Vx, I wanted to go the other way this time. I'm pretty much tied down to Intel when it comes to desktops as Macs have yet to take over the world, so this was my little chance to do a bit of Apple rebellion. Besides, while the Handspring didn't look as sleek as the Vx, in its heart was a faster processor. Oh, did I mention that its stylus was a nice weighty metal pen? Dang, let me go grab a tissue (Kleenex for all you Americani(s/z)ed people) and wipe the drool off my face.
Why was it a struggle then? It wasn't the money. I had some left from a scholarship awarded to me last semester. It was about giving up. It was about consecration unto God. The more I held on to the idea that I should own one, the less peace I felt within myself. I had prayed so long ago to give my life to Jesus, and yet I was quibbling for control over this small thing. The argument was: Since this is a small thing, it should be ok, right? After a load of prayer, and with the help of a particularly unhelpful staff at Harvey Norman, I realised that God wanted me to give up every aspect of my life. The words I heard over the June church camp echoed in my head: If I am not your God of all, I am not your God at all. In a display of superhuman strength of will provided only by God Himself, I trudged down to MPH and got myself a pocket sized notebook and a Pilot G2 pen.
The notebook goes everywhere with me now. I added little partitions to its pages denoting where I store my addresses and phone numbers, where I write my random thoughts, and where I have my to-do list. On its cover I've lovingly decorated and named it my Paw Pilot (Stylus sold separately). I sit and stare at the notebook, looking through it as if it were some newfangled toy. I'm proud of my little handiwork and I see how Paw technology is superior to Palm. I can keep my own handwriting without utilising the graffiti form which everybody else now writes in. I don't have to recharge its batteries. I'm not saying this to console myself, for if I had wanted to do so I'd simply have bought what I wanted. But it is a lesson that I have to learn, and its price gets higher the more I learn. Many years ago I accepted Jesus as the Lord of my life, and I intended to heed that decision. Like Michael Card sings in his song, there is a freedom in giving up the things which we hold on to so tightly.
<strong>Things We Leave Behind</strong>
There sits Simon so foolishly wise
proudly he's tending his nets.
Then Jesus calls and the boats drift away
and all that he owns he forgets.
But more than the nets he abandoned that day
he found that his pride was soon drifting away
and it's hard to imagine the freedom we find
from the things we leave behind.
Matthew was mindful of taking the tax
and pressing the people to pay
but hearing the call he responded in faith
and followed the Light and the Way.
And leaving the people so puzzled he found
the greed in his heart was no longer around
and it's hard to imagine the freedom we find
from the things we leave behind.
Every heart needs to be set free
from possessions that hold it so tight
cause freedom's not found in the things that we own
it's the power to do what is right.
With Jesus our only possession
then giving becomes our delight.
And we're amazed at the freedom we find
from the things we leave behind.
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