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Be Vewy Vewy Quiet…

<img src="http://www.tribolum.com/images/posts/montblancpen.jpg" alt="Mont Blanc's Meisterstuck Collection" border = "0" hspace = "7" align = "left">When I embarked on my first online journal entry more than two years ago I endevoured to live an open life, and write about whatever I felt, thought and did. I wanted to be honest to myself, and to whoever was willing to plough through my writings, putting aside all pretences and masks. I do not attempt to be cool or an authority on life, I'm as new at it as many of you are.
Throughout my blogging days many friends have stopped, or comtemplated stopping their blogs altogether. Most of them did this because their blogs came back to haunt them, wielded as solid black and white (depending on the colour scheme) evidence by people close to them in real life. It is in the very nature of human beings to judge others, and those that divulge more information eventually become victims of their own openness.
Though my own experience today seems inconsequential and trivial as compared to my less fortunate comrades, I begin to see why so many unspoken words remain as they are – unspoken. I blogged a few days ago about Duke losing their basketball game to Indiana, and how I didn't want to join in the nationwide chant of "Duke is dead", now almost a national anthem at colleges everywhere. Yet today as I was watching the Duke women ballers thrashing another school I mentioned out loud that I wished they would lose. My sister beside me caught me right away, and for that split second I felt betrayed by my open journal. My most secret friend which I had held close to my heart had revealed my involuntary hypocrisy and betrayed me, so it felt. I had gotten carried away with the anti-Duke sentiment going on in basketball courts, and BAM…was shot for it.
Even as I write this I know that I write it openly, and am well aware of the risks I take on with opening sharing my thoughts. Yet I press on almost recklessly, in the hope that some might be spurred on to lay themselves bare as well. I am what I am – not often a pretty picture, nor a perfect one, but I stand before you and just write my heart out, because I know no other way to live.
Hunting season has begun. I stand unafraid.
<span class = "byline">Image &copy <a href="http://www.montblanc.com" target="_blank">Mont Blanc</a>.
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