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It Ain't Heavy….He's My….

It's not easy being a brother. I guess I'm getting a taste of parenthood, and it's not as sweet as I'd have liked it to be. Having my younger sister here in Arizona is without a doubt a blessing which I enjoy daily. Her company is something which I've come love and appreciate. But like every relationship, sweat is part of the bargain.
We're quite different, the two of us. I've always felt responsible for her, being six years older. Back in the days when she was a toddler, I remember the pride I had in my heart that I was her older brother, and I would have done anything to protect and watch over her. I changed her diapers on occasion, and took her for walks as she held my finger. We had our share of fun, and deep in my heart even back then I always wanted to teach her well, and watch her grow to be a beautiful and mature young lady.
There comes a time when one has to learn how to let go. I was very proud of her last week when she decided on her own not to go clubbing using someone else's identification. Yet I feel that she is slowly drifting away from me. I look at my hand and I no longer see the small girl who held my pinkie so tightly.
She has stopped coming to basketball games. She tries to get other people to take her place, but she doesn't know that I wanted her there, to share the moments with. Yesterday she told me that she didn't feel like coming to church with me anymore. Like any Asian parent or older brother would do, I pretended not to hear it. But I did. I know that I cannot force her to see what I see, and that she has to find out the Truth on her own, but it hurt that she was starting to reject what I stood for. It meant to me that she had rejected me.
I still pray for her constantly, and hope that somehow we'll work our way through. There is no friction or disagreement among us, merely a slight resignation from my part. I now know how my parents felt when they couldn't understand me in my teenage angst, or get me to be the obedient son they had always wanted. It hurts. I only hope that my present gratitude toward them will make up for the years of pain they endured. And I hope that I find the silver lining of this ominous cloud I now currently am in.
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