By Design

<blockquote>"Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life…and which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?"
– Luke 12:22, 25</blockquote>
<blockquote>"But seek first the Kingdom of God, and all these things shall be added unto you"
– Luke 12:31</blockquote>
It's hard not to worry. The mechanic didn't call like he said he would, so I still do not yet know how much the car repairs will cost, but I don't have a good feeling about the whole thing.
It's hard not to worry about where the money will come from, or if any of this was my fault. Even though I serviced the car regularly and ran whatever checks I could periodically, some part of me still blames myself for the whole incident of the engine overheating. Maybe if I'd done this, or that. But there are only so many ways to drive a car from Tucson to Florence, and none of the variations (using my left foot to step on the accelerator, for example) would have made a difference.
Faith just told me that the youths back in Singapore just had a Bible lesson on worrying a few hours ago (it's Sunday afternoon there already). She reminded me that nothing happens outside of God's plan, and that He sees all things, knows all things, and has control over all things.
I take a deep breath, and I realise how fast I had forgotten these seemingly simple truths. As life grew more complicated I had subconsciously wrestled the steering wheel from God, and decided that I was more dependable.
So it's a wake-up call; that's what it is, this business with the car malfunction. I bow the head of my heart, and come unto Him once again, offering the reins of my life.
Lord, You know all things, and You know how I've run away from you; how I've forgotten You. Yet in through all my rebellion You still call me back unto Yourself, and I stand speechless at the grace that You're showing me. I'm afraid to take the first step – I've fallen so many times over the years, and I know how fickle my heart is.
But I'm drawn back to You, because there is no other way. I can only ask for Your forgiveness and Your strength, that I may not sin against You.
Help me. To remember You always. To choose You always. Above all things.
<blockquote>"And we know that <em>all</em> things work for good to those that love God, to those that are called according to His purpose."
– Romans 8:28</blockquote>

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *