there are times I see so clearly, and my entire being finds no expression other than a complete praise for who You are. Yet when I look at myself I find myself so utterly entrenched in the things of the world, its sins, its desires, its nature. I don't understand how these two extremes can exist within me, sometimes even in the very same moment.
The powerful conflict tears me apart. I find myself unable to escape the world because of the weakness that is inherent in me, and yet the solace that I seek cannot be found here. How could I settle for the things around me when I've tasted of Your goodness?
But I know this: that the rapture that awaits me is not due to my strength or my goodness, but Yours. After all, it was Your suffering and Your death that freed us all from the inevitability of death. I can only bring my unclean hands, and a broken heart unto You, in faith that You'll not only accept me, but enjoin me in You. That my insufficiency is made whole in Your completeness, my weakness in Your strength, and my sin made no more by Your love.