Sporadic Update

There have been so many things I wanted to blog about, but life without an always-on Internet (or simply one that works at home) has made me lose to many thoughts that would otherwise have intrigued you to no end. I'm currently sitting at a cafe that has its own Internet terminals. I've never liked coffee, prefering tea anyday, and the caffeine's giving me delusions that my lack of updates here have changed the blogging world in some way, or affected your reading / surfing pleasure to a great degree. Of course it takes my healing factor a while to kick in and realise that the world goes on with or without me, despite my great need to hammer away at a keyboard into the vast vacumn of cyberspace for a good half-hour a day.
I'm still in the process of looking for a job, though listening to news on the streets leaves me in a state of dismay sometimes. Things don't look good at all here, and I have friends that have remained unemployed for the better part of a year. With a wedding, a new house and renovations to look forward to, I realise that the girl I'm marrying has staked her entire life's fortune on my ability to find work in the near future. So if you're wondering how I'm pulling all this off, here's the lowdown: I'm living off my fiancé. She's pretty much blowing her entire savings on the wedding, the downpayment on the house and the renovations (if we've anything left). My parents are helping out wherever they can, but they've two more daughters still in school.
I'm not proud of being a sponge. (I can hear Faith insisting loudly that I'm not). If things went the way I wanted, I'd have the high-paying job and would be footing the bills all out of my own pocket. Like any ego-laden guy, I'd want nothing more than to take care of my lady. But life is never what we plan or what we expect. It's not easy to hear the side-comments of "he doesn't have any money" or "she's paying for it all", but circumstances are such that these are things I'll just have to let bounce off a thickened skin.
No, she's not pregnant. Truth be told, we've never even engaged in pregnancy-inducing activities. That's for after marriage, and I want to tell my children the same. We're getting married so "soon" because we're not young anymore and we want a little together-time before having children.
I'll admit that marriage is a little scary. Since I turned eleven and fell head-over-heels for her, I've had the path mentally mapped out. But the end of the path has always been marriage. Now with so many things like job-searching, money-making etc. thrown in, the future seems so blurred compared the clarity and resolve I had bringing this marriage to fruition. What is ahead lies in a shroud, and it has made us both more dependent on God for direction.
Right now I'm looking for a cellphone because my dad uses the home phone for his home-business. If my potential employers do decide to contact me, the home phone is probably the most impregnable route of communication. I only hope my small savings hold out till I find a job.
What kind of job? I hope to do some writing and web-design. Though I'm perfectly at home doing SQL and database stuff, it is not where I see myself spending my days and nights. So if you're a journalist who knows of a job opening at a newspaper for a writer or a web-designer (I'd even do maintenance), email me.
If you've been reading me you know what I'm about. If you have a shoe that fits, throw it this way.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *