Easy as Pie

There are two types of humility.
I've watched enough kungfu movies to know that the uber-powerful hero always walks into his first battle as an underdog. He takes all the crap-talk and bashes the heck out of them later on in the movie. It's the kind of scenario I was hoping William Hung would have pulled in American Idol. Didn't happen.
The second type is the type that doesn't make it to mainstream movies. He's the peasant that knows no kungfu. He doesn't boast because there's absolutely nothing to boast about. He's liable to feel beat down, but life goes on.
I've been pretty good at doing the first. There was always the innate confidence, even if I never showed it to anyone. I was never tops in class or anyting, but I held on the illusion of being special.
The "illusion". It feels odd to call it that, because it's something that has felt so tangible all these years. But as I grow older it dawns on me that maybe I will never learn the kungfu I need to impress the audience behind the silver screen of my life.
I feel so earthbound. So ordinary. So broken, and so real.

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