Kit For Kat

I killed a cat yesterday. Kicked it in the side I did. It flew a meter in the air as it yelped. I couldn't believe that it landed on its feet. I kicked again. Blood trickled from its jaw as it lay down.
What the heck. I stepped on its skull.
Then I noticed something. There were <em>two</em> patches on its tail.You see, a cat has been going around the neighbourhood killing hamsters. We do not know how it <a href="" title="Full List Of US Weapons Suppliers To Iraq">learnt to get its paws</a> into hamster cages, but it did. Seven houses have been attacked so far; a total of <strong>twenty-three</strong> hamsters dead. My neighbour on the same floor had three of hers mutilated.
I sure as hell wasn't going to have my hammy go to heaven on any other cause except old age. Trust me, if I could stop God, I'd kick Him where it hurts. <em>Fuck</em>. No one touches my Stripey. God bless Stripey. He's so cute.
Sorry, I digress. So I come home, right? And I see the Jane, my five year old neighbour who lost the three hamsters. Now she tells me that she saw the bloody cat that killed her hammies. <em>Three</em> black patches on its tail.
So I killed the wrong cat. Big fat fucking deal. What, I'm supposed to feel guilty and apologise to you cat-lovers out there? Go <a href="" title="Cheney Dismisses Critic With Obscenity">fuck yourself</a>. It's not my fault the <a href="" title="What Education Chief of California Riodan called a small girl">stupid dirty girl</a> couldn't <a href="" title="Report slams CIA for Iraq intelligence failures">pronounce words properly</a>.
Hey I thought that was the cat, ok? I don't go around kicking every cat I see. I'm doing all hamster owners a favour, anyway. Even though this wasn't the cat, I'm sure it is fully capable of killing hamsters. I even saw its claws retract when I kicked it the first time.
Dammit. Now all the cats look at me funny. It's like they knew what I did. <em>Shit</em>. Kill them all, I say. Next thing we know is that they're killing us humans. Can't believe some <a href="" title="Iran">idiots</a> <a href="" title="Saudi Arabia">actually</a> <a href="" title="Pakistan">feed</a> these bastards.
I'm sure some of you out there agree with me on this matter. There will always be <a href="" title="France">people who disagree on bloody everything</a>. Tell you what, if you join me, we'll <a href="" title="Powell: France faces consequences">throw cat poo into their houses</a>. If they loves cats so much, we might as well help them smell like cats.
<a href="" title="vote for Bush">Join me</a>. We'll have <a href=",2763,912515,00.html" title="Cheney is still paid by Pentagon contractor">good times</a> together. Join me. For Stripey.

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