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Anger

Don't know if any of you ever heard Seinfeld in Broadway, but he says "for men, super-heroes aren't fantasy, they're options". He goes on to talk about men and their "super-hero" ways.
We all laugh at it thinking we've outgrown it, but we haven't. At least I know I haven't.
I was waiting for a cab today when a man walked past me and stood 20m in front of the road, wanting to hail a cab ahead of me. It was clear that he knew I was waiting for one. But in classic ugly Singaporean manner he pretended I didn't exist.
It's hard to describe the magnitude of the anger that boiled up so suddenly inside me. I almost made up my mind to walk right up and punch him in the back of the head. Or push him hard into the large drain beside him. It didn't matter if he stood 6 inches taller and had tattoos all over his visible body. I could take him. I <strong>knew</strong> I could.
I stormed up, stared at him in the face, then walked even further up the road. I wasn't about to let this idiot take my rightful place. Just as I was doing my storming ahead, a cab came. Still busy expressing my anger, I failed to see the cab. He got on.
I felt like following him in the next cab (which came 10 seconds later) and carrying out my grandiose plan of punching him in the head.
It then occurred to me that I was still a very raw person. Apart from my base instincts of wanting to get back what was "rightfully" mine, I discovered I had little compassion or kindness.
There is so much I still have to learn to give up to God. So much of my own self-preservation and so much of my pride. This is so much more crucial now that we've decided to start a company. Our work reflects our character. And being a Christian, my character reflects His work in my life.
I'm still a work in progress.

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