The Right and Left of Good Parenting

There are two reasons why women make better child-minders than men.
Boobs. Either you got them or you don't. If you're the non-lactating parent like I am (but your baby feeds on breastmilk), parenting is a synchronised dance of keeping the baby fed, making sure you've enough bottled breastmilk to last the day till your lactating partner returns, and organising all sorts of attention-grabbing time-burning activities in between.
The lactator has the distinct advantage here. When in doubt, instant milk. No questions like "is the baby hungry enough to finish an entire bottle?" No having to wait for the refrigerated ammo to thaw while juggling rattles, storybooks and chainsaws hoping to live through the five minutes of aural hell.
Of course I'm over-simplifying things. The lactator has to deal with nasty electrical pumps, freezing cooler boxes and white-hot sterilised milk bottles.
There are times when I wonder about estrogen jabs; whether transforming myself into a lactator will simplify things. Then I think about teething.
Testicles shrink to the size of raisins, and I realise I don't need estrogen to scream like a little girl.

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