Making Light of Things

June 2000 Archives

I Don't Know About Tomorrow

It has been a long time since my last entry, and once again I apologise to you faithful ones who come here time after time. My ISP has been a pain, allowing me to connect at speeds of 2400bps. I know people who’s handwriting is faster than that.

I’ve been playing basketball at Marine Parade Community Center regularly. The old familiar faces are no more to be found. Most of them have moved to more obscure neighbourhoods, some married, others in the Army. The new faces that replace them hold not the same attraction of nostalgia and camaraderie.

I was called “Uncle” by a few of these new faces as I was leaving the court, and it occurred to me that I was no longer the teenager I once was. It’s a surreal feeling, to know that I’m now exactly where those “uncles” once were.

My sister (the older of the two) just returned from Taiwan with a bunch of glamour photos. I look at these photos with a certain fear. The initial reaction was probably fear that the vanity in today’s generation would make its imprint on her. But I know that she is no longer the baby I used to carry in my arms. I wondered in my heart what my dad felt when he saw the photos.

It is a passing of the times, as generation after generation pounds upon the shores like the flow and ebb of a tide. The old hymn goes “But I know who holds tomorrow, and I know who holds my hand”.

Lord, help me be a better follower of You. Ever so often I fall right after promising to stand. But just had you loved Peter, I know that you love me. Forgive me for those many many times. I can promise you nothing, for my faithfulness has proven to be as steadfast as the wind. Help me. Help me now.

First Timers

A most funny thing happened today. A short hair pierced the sole of my foot, resulting in a most unusual splinter. After removing it, I told Faith about it in my living room and my father overhearing it sat up. Apparently he had the same thing happen to him a few days back and when he told my mother about it, she didn’t believe him. In between laughter I pointed at my dad and told Faith “that’s my dad all right”, amazed at the same occurance happening to us.

It struck me that not too long ago I would not have said anything like that. It is not that I am ashamed of my parents, rather that I’ve always felt that they were ashamed of me. I guess we’ve both misunderstood each other. Thank God that everything’s been sorted out. I remember telling myself in times of anger that they were not the model parents I had read about or come to know in movies or on TV. As I was bathing today I realised that they were new to this. I am the eldest in my family and the guinea pig so to speak. It was my parents’ first time at being parents. They seemed so much more human now.

As I look at my sisters who are sometimes unreasonable, I also begin to understand that it too is their first time being a child. How do I then expect children to be sensible or considerate? We are all still learning as we go along. I hope that bearing this in mind will make me more conscious and tolerant about other people’s mistakes and failures.

To my dear parents : Great job, for a first timer. :)

A Lovely Gesture

Spent the day less than productively today. I was supposed settle the buying of drinking straws for the children’s program for a church camp that starts next week, but due to sheer laziness I decided to do it tomorrow. So the day consisted of reading Harry Potter and playing basketball. Later in the day, Faith got into a somewhat bad mood and blamed me for not having done what had to be done today. I was rather shocked and annoyed as she had shown no displeasure throughout the course of the day.

I remember feeling down and rather upset, as things like these get to me easily. I sat on the toilet seat, depressed and the phone rang. Faith had called up to apologise for her bad mood. A gush of overwhelming happiness came over me and I was glad to be able to resume my engagements without a bad cloud over my head.

Went out with Haresh and Yusman. We watched Reindeer Games at Orchard Cineleisure. It was a pretty good show, with relatively little hype in the media. During the duration of the show, Faith paged me to inform me about the on-going basketball game between the Lakers and the Trailblazers. Whoever won this game would make a trip to the NBA finals. It put a smile on my face to know that she was watching a game she didn’t fancy and paging me to keep my informed. It was a sweet gesture dearest, and I appreciate it…a lot. :)

Military, Symphonic and Wedding

I know that I’ve been silent for a long time, and I apologise to the many of you who have come faithfully to my homepage awaiting some semblance of life. Life here at home has been peaceful, and passes with tranquility as I spend my days with Faith.

It has been the most wondrous time of doing nothing. In fact, Faith and I have only took pains to go further than the Parkway Parade (a Mall that’s within walking distance) once since I’ve been home. We’ve lazed around reading books, talking to each other, basically enjoying each other’s company. I often grasp her hand (sometimes even while driving, though I wouldn’t recommend it for safety reasons) and tell her how much I missed the feel of her hand in mine, and how much more I’ll miss it when I go back to Arizona after this break.

She bought me a ring two days ago. It’s a simple ring but I do love it so. I wear it proudly on the ring finger of my right hand. I bought her a ring three years back, and it took her all of three years to figure out I didn’t mind having a ring on my finger as well. :P That’s women’s intuition for you.

We attended the wedding of two mutual church friends today. I felt a coming of age as these two friends were our age. I guess it feels like the wave has finally come upon our shores, the shore of my generation. I’ve always felt “married” to Faith. Ever since I had a crush on her when I was nine, I was virtually “married”. My love has changed and matured a lot since then, but it feels just as warm, as comforting as the first day.

I was talking to Faith a moment ago about maybe registering ourselves at the Registry sometime soon. The registry of marriages, not vehicles (don’t have money to get a car). There are times when I speak to her on the phone wishing I could spend all of my life with her. The only reason that has been stopping us is the cashflow problem, and also the fact that I am not holding any income-earning job at the moment. We will have to pray about it and see how God wants it to be I guess.

Some people who have read these journals have expressed a certain repulsion to my “thankfulness” shown in my writings. To those people, I have had my share of blessings and I will admit to you that there are many lives less fortunate than mine. But I also have had my share of burdens and sorrows. Like Valjean “I am a man no better than any other man”. I just choose not to burden you with writings of angst and depression or anger, and bid you look to the sky with me. It is still beautiful, be it grey or blue. And then look to your side, I am there sky gazing with thee.

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